Revelation

Today marks a day of great pain in my life. It was 13 years ago today that my mom left this earth to be with Jesus. The moments, days, weeks, and months that followed brought confusion and a time of questioning who God really is. 

For the last several years February has been a bitter reminder of great loss. My mom's birthday is at the end of the month, making whole month bitter and painful...

...until today.

I woke up today and just started thinking about my mom and the wonderful life she lived. How she was a Godly example of a wife and mother. I thought about how much she loved my brother and I. I thought about the endless prayers I remember her praying and her endless devotion to Christ and His followers. I was thinking about the day she died and the confusion and endless waiting for answers. I thought about how for the last 13 years the month of February has been full of pain.

Then in a way that God only can He began to whisper to me. Because of His great love for me he whispered, "I have turned your mourning into dancing". Then, like a flood, incredible joy came over me as I began to think of the last 2 years and the incredible joy that has come this time of year. 

On February 22, 2012 (my mom's birthday) I found out that I was pregnant with Judah. Forever changing the way I remember her birthday. I was given the most precious of gifts that day. Then on February 17, 2013 something even more incredible happened. We took our precious 3 month old baby home from Children's Hospital after a week long visit. We went in to the ER a week before thinking he was having seizures. He would have periods of time where he was completely non-responsive. After extensive testing seizures were ruled out. The doctors couldn't make sense of what was going on with our precious little gift. They confirmed that these episodes while odd, were NOT harming Judah in any way. During our hospital stay we had hundreds of people praying for healing. 

We left that hospital and now almost a year later Judah has not had a single episode!

You turned my mourning into dancing;
    you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
    Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Psalm 30:11-12

For the first time in over a decade the month of February has become a time of rejoicing and praising God for his goodness. I miss my mom terribly, but I've been able to connect and encourage so many others because of my loss. It took years, but I can honestly say that my mourning has turned to dancing. God has removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy!

God's timing and will are perfect. His plan for our lives is so much bigger than we are. He is faithful in all in all things and in every season. 

In all things trust God. He makes all things new!